Day 114 – Reconnecting and filling out my past…


I reached out to a friend from my past about a month ago. M was the instructor for an intense 13 day experiential course I went through on inclusive work & interpersonal relationships…centered around diversity. We were about 18 in total — and after bearing our souls, we ALL became a very tight knit group.  In fact, my “CP family” has been very much a part of my recovery support network since inpatient.

M and I had a strong connection throughout the 2+ years I worked with the program, but when my using increased in the last year or so, I remember deliberately creating “walls” to keep her away. If anyone could figure out something was deathly wrong in my life, she could have. And I wasn’t ready for that at the time. So, my “big sister” became my “distant sister” – of my doing.

When I called her recently, we played telephone tag for a couple rounds. I left a message letting her know I wanted to reconnect, that there were some changes that were going on I wanted to fill her in on.  (At that point, I had been through treatment and lost my job…)  I’ll never forget her voicemail back to me…something to the effect of: “CT, great to hear from you.  You sound fantastic, so the changes must be great!  Can’t wait to hear what amazing things are going on with you.”  What a testimony to the growth my Higher Power and program of recovery are bringing about…that it can be heard in my voice on a recording!  I’ve had others tell me I look better, sound better…but in person!  This was a first!  Imagine her surprise when we finally talked on the phone…and I filled her in on my “bottom,” my treatment & path of recovery, loss of job and home, etc.  Life was so different from a year ago when I saw her…but oh so much better!  She was speechless…I was thankful…and we had (finally!) reconnected!!!

We met tonight for dinner and brought each other up to speed.  I filled in some of my past, and we were both able to understand where the walls were coming from…why even in our training, there was something I was holding back, not disclosing.  She shared it was confusing at the time, because on so many fronts I was very open & honest.  Now, the picture was complete…the pieces of the puzzle began to fit together.  And, as all things happen for a reason and are a part of His Master Plan…it’s exciting to look forward, in anticipation of where these connections and experiences will take me…

M, I love you as a sister.  I’m thankful you hung with me — kept me in your thoughts and prayers — kept loving me.  You’re part of my story…you know how you accelerated my recovery by a week to 10 days!  I so want to pay it all forward and share what has been so freely given to me…

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ctfuqua

At 42, my life is in transition. I have always been a “glass half full” sort of guy. Now more than ever I see life as full of possibilities and the world full of beautiful people possessing unique and often untapped talents. I’m a learner and connector, seeking ways to leverage the abundance in this world through strong community.

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