I haven’t been blogging as much lately – been on the road visiting my family. My 97 year old grandmother is with us now – so we have 4 generations together for the first time since my ten month old niece was born last summer. Our last reunion was for my grandmother’s 95th birthday. Since then, my addiction got more active…and I chose to stay at home in Indiana for #96 and #97 because I knew my supply was guaranteed. I chose drugging over family. I’m so grateful for where I am today.
The topic at a meeting I was at tonight was Living in the Moment. I reflected on the last couple of days, and got an amazing lesson in recovery. I thought about the first day with my grandmother when she was reintroduced to my two dogs. When she saw the dogs she asked me “are those your dogs?” I told her yes and told her their names. About ten minutes later she asked me again “now are those your dogs?” I answered her again, and told her the story of how I found them. Although her long term memory is impeccable, her short term memory is failing. After about 6-7 times of asking and me patiently answering, she started to remember they were my dogs.
As I reflected on living in the moment…in a sense, she has the gift of being able to live in the moment! To a certain extent, she’s stuck in the present — but what a better place to be than being stuck in the past or the future. When I live in the past, resentments can overwhelm me. When I live in the future, fear can paralyze me. When I do either, I risk missing what’s going on in the present. But, if I stay stuck in the present, I am able to enjoy the precious gift of life in front of me.
I’m so grateful to be back in life, able to create memories with my family and enjoy the gift of today!