They say that my stinking thinking got me here…that if I really was “all that” and knew what to do, how did I end up broken, at the bottom, choosing between death and life? Therefore, as I came into recovery, I was asked to show openness, humility and willingness — to remain teachable. After all, it was my thinking that GOT me here! It was me trying to be strong – to be in control – to be self-reliant.
In my morning devotional this morning, I was reminded of this…TWICE! I particularly like the one book’s way of framing things.
“Your weakness is designed to open you up to My Power. Therefore, do not fear your limitations or measure the day’s demands against your strength. What I require of you is to stay connected to Me, living in trusting dependence on My limitless resources.”
Yesterday, we spend the day at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. I walked through the exhibit on The Power of Children Making A Difference – the story of Ryan White, Anne Frank and Ruby Bridges. One quote in the Ryan White exhibit caught my eye. Shawn Decker, a contemporary of Ryan White who also contracted AIDS from a blood transfusion, later said “You may discover that your greatest ‘flaw’ is in fact your greatest asset.”
God has blessed me with the grace and willingness to share my story – to use my stigmatized affliction to educate, influence, support & encourage. In doing so, it helps me find purpose and in turn, increase my chances of staying clean & sober. I can’t keep it if I don’t give it away, they say. I don’t know where this journey will take me — I just need to keep doing what they told me to do when I came in the doors. Remain open, willing and honest…and let my Higher Power be in control. It’s in my weakness that He can do great things.